I never know how useful the Monday morning results round-up is, but as it helps me with ‘other’ stuff, I’ll continue. As mentioned yesterday there were a couple of interesting, no, surprising results on Saturday in Counties Kent 1. Not least two that have a bearing on the battle for survival from relegation. I for one did not see Park House beating Dover, in Dover, 14-51, nor did I see Cranbrook coming away from Beccehamian with a 36-44 win to their name. Both the victors are still in a relegation battle but it got a whole lot more interesting. Charlton Park are looking ever more doomed after their 42-10 loss away at Gillingham As. Gillingham are 9th with 29 points, Park House are 10th on 26 points and Cranbrook 11th on 24 points. With three games to go there is much to play for at the bottom.

At the top things are much clearer, for OEs at least. Congrats to them, Champions and promoted. I guess their challenge is to go through the season with a perfect record. The race for 2nd spot hots up with The Greenies winning 31-39 at Sevenoaks II. That is a great result. Well done them. Deal are currently in the driving seat after a convincing 32-7 win over Ashford. We remain nicely in mid-table at 7th with no threat of relegation and no chance of promotion. Mind you, none of those above us, except OEs, have any chance of promotion…… I think.

Over in Surrey/Sussex 1 Haywards Heath lost 33-36 to London Cornish, Eastbourne strolled past bottomed placed KCS Old Boys 14-57, and Hove lost 48-12 to Weybridge Vandals. Cobham remain top. Hove, Eastbourne and Heath are 4th, 5th, and 6th.

Across in Hampshire 1, Bognor are nicely in 2nd after their 77-17 demolition of Gosport & Fareham. Portsmouth are top but Bognor are within touching distance. Eastleigh pulled out of their game away at Chichester. Chi are 6th.

In Sussex 2 East Grinstead beat Ditchling but stay 2nd as Pulborough ‘enjoyed’ a AWO after Shoreham cried off. Brighton II also cried off against Lewes. Crawley lost at Royals. Seaford won at Eastbourne II.

In Sussex 3 Burgess Hill beat Hellingly 51-12 as they continue their march to promotion. Our 2s lost at East Grinstead II. Our good friends down at Uckfield lost by many to Hove II.

No change in Kent 2 with TJs II set for promotion. In Kent 3 Hastings & Bexhill beat Brockleians to stay 3rd behind TWells II and Sittingbourne.

Up we go into Regional 2 where we find Horsham beating Battersea Ironsides 57-24. Horsham really are on a roll, which is great. Brighton beat Sutton & Epsom 33-19 but stay 2nd as Sidcup won at Bromley. Old Reigation are gone. The other places are to be contested by Dartfordians, Canterbury II and Bromley.

Ever upwards. In Regional 1 that must have been some game. Tunbridge Wells 43 Jersey 45. Jersey are promoted. TWells are 3rd. London Scottish remain in 2nd spot and can’t be overtaken. Worthing are safe for another season after their win at Hammersmith & Fulham.

Two more results to bring you. Salisbury lost 33-24 at Frome. Bridgnorth had quite the day beating Nuneaton 94-5.

It’s the Easter break next weekend but there is PLENTY of action at Steel Cross. Check the website for details.

Bath managed to get past a resilient Sale yesterday in what at times was a Greco-Roman wrestling contest. Bath have quite the squad. How they can afford it, I have no idea.

Talking of money the Premiership are like turkeys voting for Christmas. With every club up to their eyeballs in debt they have unanimously agreed to a MINIMUM spend per season on players wages. Players wages is exactly the thing that is driving costs up. Perhaps being a class 1 simpleton I’m missing something.

As I headed away from Crowborough yesterday so the protesters were gathering outside the army camp. What do they hope to achieve? The Government are not going to change their minds now. They should focus on the real issues, stopping illegals arriving in the first place, and the rapid removal of those who don’t qualify to stay.

Who says crime doesn’t pay. A brazen benefits cheat avoided jail and despite stealing thousands and thousands from you and I, the taxpayer, has only paid back £120.

Happy days if you are bone idle scrounger. As we the taxpayer get hit again, and again, the bone idle get a 6.2% benefit increase from today. MADNESS!!!!

Sunday 29th Mar: 08:20

Its been quite the few days. The pitches are now dry, which is amazing considering how wet they have been over many months. It is a testament to the work done by the Friday Club, and in terms of pitches, by Max and Flo. The sun was shining, everything looked great and it was time to welcome now league champions Old Elthamians to Steel Cross. Perfect for the season with 18 wins and 18 bonus points before yesterday’s encounter.

I think it is fair to say however, and this more in praise of Crowborough RFC than disparaging towards Old Elthamians, but our facilities are vastly superior in every way. Twenty of us for lunch yesterday, and boy oh boy what a lunch it was. Pork belly plus a myriad of supporting acts. It was delicious. Thanks Jacqui. Louise and Ryan had the clubhouse looking a picture festooned with balloons and bunting. Then came a first for a CRFC pre-match lunch……. Bingo. Yes, the lovely Judith, instead of a raffle, brought us the delights of bingo. I for one was sceptical, as I often am, but it was splendid fun.

Time to turn our attention to the game. OEs are physically big, lightening quick, and very well drilled. That is why they are going up. They showed us what they had in their armoury early on with some outstanding interplay, which was aided by us missing first up tackles. Over they went for the first of their five tries, all of which were converted. We weren’t playing badly, in fact, at times we were playing some excellent rugby of our own. Their defence was very good. Young Tommy Dinnis and Jarod Herman at #10 looked the part, and with the forwards supplying us with decent possession, despite the scoreline, it wasn’t all one way traffic. Andy Kidd, Dave Bennett et al did what was required but sadly in the first half to no avail. 0-35 at half time was disappointing and troubling.

I don’t know what Jodi and the coaches said at half-time but the second half was a different contest altogether. Our tackles started to stick. That in the main stopped the free-flowing rugby of our visitors. They now had to scrap that little bit harder. We were getting behind them with our attacks and only their excellent defensive qualities kept our side of the scoreboard blank. Josh Jarvis was denied a try when the referee, from a distance, decided the ball had gone dead before Jarvis had touched it down. We did get on the scoreboard with an excellent try, probably the best of the game. A long range free-flowing attack with Kidd and Bennett in the midst before Connor Hand crashed over under the posts.

The game ebbed and flowed and was very evenly matched. Both sides putting on a show only to fall short thanks to spirited defending. The game was brought to its conclusion with us winning the second half 7-0. This might seem like clutching at straws. It is important to note however that several of their many travelling supporters stated this was the first time all season they had lost any half of rugby. That is quite a testament to the boys in red and white who took to the field. I went home very contented.

A word for the merry whistle blower. Having travelled from Essex I for one thought he had an excellent game. Two real plusses, he was consistent from minute 1 to minute 80, and his communication was spot on. The players knew exactly where they stood and why he had made certain decisions. Well done sir.

So, its goodbye to Old Elthamians, but with a cautionary note. The next one up is a tough league. Go well.

Our 2s lost over at East Grinstead, but with a very depleted team it was to be expected.

Once back in the comfort of my living room I looked through the results. Wow, there were some surprises. More on this tomorrow.

OK, I’m going to wrap up there as I have to head to Bridgnorth. A real flying visit, back in the ‘Borough tomorrow. A long story, but in essence it is my own stupid fault that I’m going back so soon.

Oh, The Bards erudite match report is on the website, and check out the plans for next Saturday while you are there.

Thursday 26th Mar: 08:55

Here we are, back in the metropolis of Crowborough. In years gone by when people asked you where you live, they previously used to say, ‘where’, when you mentioned our town. You’d either have to say ‘half way between Brighton and London’ or ‘near Tunbridge Wells’. Now what you get in response is ‘oh dear, there! The place where all the migrants are.’ How life moves on.

Bleater, you’re waffling. Yes, because there is very little by way of rugby news to bring you. Let me look at the local fixtures to pass the time.

In our league Crowborough v Old Elthamians is the star of the show. Don’t forget to book in for lunch. The Greenies travel to Sevenoaks II. That’ll be a tough gig but H&W RFC have been in fine form so let’s see what happens. Gillingham As should cement their place in Kent 1 with a home win over Charlton Park. Dover are likely to put Park House in a similar situation to Charlton Park sadly. Beccs, always strong at home, will be a tough challenge for Cranbrook. The closest game of the weekend will be Deal & Betteshanger v Ashford.

Elsewhere Heath host London Cornish, Eastbourne travel to bottom placed KCS Old Boys, Hove visit Weybridge. In Hampshire Chi should beat Eastleigh, and Bognor should triumph over Gosport & Fareham. In Sussex 2 Pulborough and East Grinstead should still in 1st and 2nd places but trips to Shoreham and Ditchling await. In Sussex 3 our 2s travel to East Grinstead II. Table topping Burgess Hill host Hellingly. On paper that could be a one-sided affair.

Moving on up Brighton host Sutton & Epsom, Horsham host Battersea Ironsides. Tunbridge Wells will be up against it as Jersey fly in. Worthing are up in the posh(ish) part of London. Hammersmith & Fulham for them. Those above them, including Oaks, don’t play on Saturday. They’re ‘resting darling!’.

Did I mention its still not too late to book for lunch on Saturday. Louise is waiting your call.

The really BIG game is tonight: Wales v Bosnia. Kick off 19:45. I’ll miss the fist half as I’ll be wearing my other hat. What’s that Bleater? It’s for me to know, and you to find out I’m afraid.

That’ll do for today….. mmm…. Except to ask: ‘who is running the country’. It is clearly not Sir U-Turn. Is it Ed Milliband? I hope not. He is a dangerous individual who would rather see people be cold and hungry, unable live our daily lives, and be beholden to foreign powers for our energy. Is it Anglea Rayner? That would be catastrophic, the country would grind to a halt in the blink of an eye. The list goes on, and none of them inspire anything other than dread.

Talking of dread, the Big Orange and his mate over in Israel have had a lovers tiff it seems. That could spell trouble for the world, as if we aren’t in enough trouble as it is.

I think the Friday Club should take over running the country and sort out world politics. Things would get done.

Before I go, is it true Starmer doesn’t drink. I understand he wants to, but every time he walks into a pub, he takes one look and does a U-turn and walks out!!

Wednesday 25th Mar: 08:15

Well, here we are, another full day ahead but there is always time to kick my brain into gear with this guff. First up, Jacqui is doing a pork belly special ahead of the Old Elthamians game. Just £15 . Contact Louise to book your place.

Not much in the way of rugby news in the sports pages but here are a few snippets.

The Premiership’s (mis-guided) idea of having ‘away ends’ in top flight rugby will be tested again on May 9th at Welford Rd when Northampton visit. The idea is to improve the atmosphere. Me, I think it is a slippery slope down which the game shouldn’t go. Herd mentally kicks in. You only need one moron to be berating the referee and all the other morons will follow suit. There is a risk it will heighten hostility between rival fans. One of the joys of being at games is the banter between mates, and your friends from other clubs. I know it isn’t full on soccer style segregation but…… That is my view anyway.

Despite the ongoing uncertainty surrounding the Welsh regions the Ospreys will play at St Helens next season. This is a bold, but good move. Currently they play in Bridgend. It is a nice ground, yes, I have played there, but it is a trek from Swansea. Being back on the seafront in the city makes a lot of sense.

Harlequins will have a new coach next season. Jason Gilmore, who, takes over the reins with support from Robbie Deans as performance director. Right now, they’ll have their work cut out.

Plenty of grassroots rugby this weekend. Plenty of Premiership and URC games too. Newcastle v Exeter is on Friday. I fancy Sale v Bath on Sunday could be a cracker. The Dragons are still in South Africa, the Lions up next. My pick is Leinster v Scarlets on Friday evening.

Martin Johnson, writing in The Guardian, has urged England to think about a summer break for players. If you look at the minutes played those at the pinnacle of the game are putting in the hard yards, week in, week out. Yes, these are supreme athletes but the body can take only so many poundings. I doubt it will happen though.

A huge game of football tomorrow. Wales take on Bosnia. A win and they are one step closer to the World Cup in the summer.

In the proper news quite rightly the horrors in the Middle East are front and centre. Sadly the horrors raining down on innocent civilians in Ukraine are being pushed farther back in the papers. Putin has seized his chance to commit horrendous crimes against humanity whilst attention is elsewhere.

The situation in Crowborough is unchanged. I for one have no problem with the army camp being used as a migrant camp. I think it is better than putting these illegal immigrants up in plush hotels. Where I have a problem is threefold. The costs for housing these people remains totally unacceptable. The fact Wealden District Council are receiving over £1k per migrant is atrocious. That is tantamount to a bribe, and is any of it being spent on Crowborough. Finally, and this is yet to be verified, but I understand some of the migrants are taken to Crawley and other places for days out, with some absconding while they are away from the camp.

If we can’t stop the boats, we should be able to remove those who should not be here. Of course, at the same time allowing genuine refugees to stay, and contribute to British society.

Do NOT confuse Illegal immigration with legal immigration. The care my late departed mother received during her stay in care, and during her times in hospital, was usually given by caring, compassionate, hard working migrants. People who have come here to better themselves but also to contribute. They are most welcome and I for one thank them and hope we welcome more with open arms.

This of course is opposite to the bone idle British scroungers who can’t be bothered to get off their backsides to do a decent day’s work. This Government is a joke. We pander to the bone idle while hardworking taxpayers are screwed over, over and over again. Guess who is going to be helped as a result of the oil and gas price rises. Not you and I who do our bit by paying tax but those who do jack all and scrounge off the state. That’ll do. I have a myriad jobs to do and little time to do it in.

Tuesday 24th Mar: 08:00

Good morning from Bridgnorth. Lots to do and very little time to do it in. Hey Ho! As promised however, here is the current snapshot of who could be promoted and who could be relegated.

Let me start in our league. I think with a strong degree of certainty Old Elthamians are promoted. Even though Sevenoaks are in 2nd spot there is very little chance that they will go up. So who is coming down. Old Reigations look doomed but will go into Surrey/Sussex. Dartfordians and Canterbury II are strong possibilities to come down. At the bottom Charlton Park and Cranbrook are set to be relegated. Park House could be dragged into the equation but currently they are safe. Coming up from Kent 2 are TJs II. Thanet Wanderers could be lucky but right now that doesn’t look possible.

I think it is fair to say Hove will be in Surrey/Sussex 1 next season, as will Haywards Heath and Eastbourne. However the latter two could get dragged into the relegation argument. Pulborough hold the aces in terms of promotion from Sussex 2. East Grinstead are in a good place but it all depends on how Surrey 2 pans out. Don’t forget due to the withdrawal of Uckfield Surrey/Sussex 1 is an eleven team league. That could aid EGs chances. Burgess Hill are set to come up from Sussex 3 to replace Crawley in Sussex 2.

In Hampshire 1 Bognor are well placed in 2nd but like Oaks II are very, very unlikely to get promoted. Chi look pretty safe.

What about up above. Currently in Regional 2 Brighton and Horsham are heading towards some form of play-off. The same is true of Tunbridge Wells. Worthing are safe for now but drop down one place and they will be in the relegation play-off places.

Up in the ether TJs are safe in their league. Sevenoaks are in the automatic relegation spot from Nat 2 East currently.

It is all VERY complicated. If you so desire, go onto the interweb thingy and look at the ‘news’ section of RFU London. There you will find the latest permutations. Good Luck!

On Saturday we host Old Elthamians. Kick off 15:00. I’ll see you there.

The Premiership returned last weekend with some interesting results. Quins poor season continues with them losing at home to Gloucester. The Saints go back to the top, just, after their one point win over Newcastle. That was closer than I expected.

The URC returned too. Dragons put up solid resistance against the Stormers but fell short. The Scarlets beat Zebre but Cardiff and Ospreys both lost. Glasgow are top.

Toby Booth is to leave Quins at the end of the season. Scot Mike Blair joins Dave Rennie as part of the revised New Zealand coaching team.

The Welsh soap opera is back after its Six Nations break. There will be a special EGM which is intended to oust the current WRU hierarchy. Mindless idea in my view. The deadline for the buyout of Cardiff Rugby has been extended. More pain on the horizon me thinks.

The Women’s Six Nations is up next. England will win. France will be second. There you have it.

Finally, Brian Moore has said the salary cap for Premiership Rugby should be ripped up. What a plonker. If you want to see clubs go the way of Wasps, London Irish and Worcester faster than Sadiq Khan rips off London’s motorists, and that is pretty quick, then follow Moore’s suggestion. I think Bath’s Brice Craig is right, even with the injection of new money from James Dyson into the club, the salary cap has to remain. If it doesn’t costs will raise significantly faster than revenue and that is a recipe for disaster.

The Middle East situation is seriously troubling, so why are we, the United Kingdom, refusing to help ourselves by drilling for oil and gas that is readily available under the North Sea, and in some parts beneath our very feet. I’ll tell you why, because we have a Government packed with self-serving, lily-livered clowns. You thought the other lot were bad. Under Sir U-Turn we have a Government of quivering wrecks afraid of offending any and every minority and unable to make a single decision of note. Doomed, that is what we are.

Monday 23rd Mar: 07:50

Let me start by saying THANK YOU for your kind messages after yesterday’s blog. I’ll try and get back to you individually later today. They were very much appreciated.

Second up is a VERY well done to all at Steel Cross yesterday. I understand the U9 festival was a rip-roaring success. In addition, our U16s enjoyed a fine win, as did our Colts, who I believe won the league as a result. To put the icing on the cake our Ladies went to Burgess Hill and came home with a 33-5 win. Great stuff. It is not all about the winning however. It is very much about what we do for the game and how we do it, and of course having FUN. Success on and off the field is the outcome.

As it is Monday let me do a league round-up. Our 50-21 win keeps us in 7th just ahead of Beccs in 8th who lost 50-30 to The Greenies. That is quite some result for our good friends over in Cross-in-Hand. They are 4th. Ashford beating Sevenoaks II 26-21 was (sort of) unexpected. Oaks stay 2nd. Park House lost 15-27 to Deal & Betteshanger and Charlton Park lost 5-31 to Dover. Both home sides remain in the relegation zone. As you would expect Cranbrook lost to table topping Old Elthamians 19-52. Cranbrook are very much in the relegation zone. Unless there is a dramatic change in the league structure we are now safe from that fate. I’ll look at the latest permutations tomorrow.

Across in Surrey/Sussex 1 Eastbourne enjoyed the Sussex bragging rights beating Haywards Heath 33-26. Hove lost at home to leaders Cobham 11-40. Hove stay in 4th with Heath in 6th and Eastbourne in 7th. KCS Old Boys look doomed.

Going west one more to Hampshire 1 we see that Chichester lost 35-29 at Bournemouth II. Bognor on the other hand put bottom placed Eastleigh to the sword winning 8-50. Portsmouth remain top, Bognor 2nd and Chi in 8th.

So to Sussex 2. It is really disappointing to see Seaford earning a HWO against Lewes. I have no idea why. Pulborough remain top after their win over Royals. East Grinstead remain on their coat tails after beating bottom placed Crawley 118-14. Brighton and Ditchling were the other winners. In Sussex 3 Burgess Hill remain top after Shoreham II couldn’t get a side out. We lie in 6th after losing to 4th placed Uckfield.

In Kent 3 Hastings & Bexhill beat Old Gravesendians 47-5. They are 3rd behind Sittingbourne in 1st place with TW II lying 2nd. In Kent 2 TJs II are top and Thanet Wanderers in 2nd. TJs look set to join us in Kent 1.

In Regional 2 Brighton’s hopes for promotion took a hit after losing 26-22 to Sidcup. Sidcup are now 4 points clear. Horsham’s excellent run continues with a fine 28-29 victory at Beckenham. Horsham are a very creditable 3rd. Old Reigatian are adrift at the bottom of this one.

Up one in Regional 1 surprise, surprise Jersey remain well clear at the top with London Scottish a distant 2nd. TWells remain in 3rd after their 33-33 draw at Maidenhead. Worthing beat CS Stags 28-17 and move up to 8th. A bit of breathing space for them, which is good news.

OK nearly there, just a couple of results to go. In National 2 Sevenoaks came home from Old Albanian with a 33-39 win. Great result. They remain in 13th so at risk of relegation unfortunately. Bury St Edmunds lead the way. In Nat 2 TJs came back from Leeds, wow, that is a trip and a half, with 53-48 loss to their name. Two points at least which means they remain 8th. Rotherham top this one.

How did Bridgnorth and Salisbury get on? Bridgnorth won 31-34 at Newport (Salop). Like us, nicely in mid-table. Salisbury enjoyed a 52-19 win over Swindon. 4th spot in their league.

As I said earlier, I’ll have a look at the latest assessment of who is going up and and who is going down tomorrow.

Plenty of action in the Premiership over the weekend. The Bath result was eye-catching. I enjoyed the Leicester v Bristol game, if not the result. Love Leicester City, not a great fan of Leicester Tigers.

OK, the motorway beckons, Yes, Bridgnorth here we come.

Sunday 22nd Mar: 09:30

Apologies for my absence last week. I don’t know how many people read this here drivel but we are definitely one reader less. My dear old mum, after a long period of suffering, departed this earth for a better place last Wednesday morning. She only ever read the controversial stuff anyway. You’ll be missed mum.

Life goes on, and she wouldn’t want it any other way. For me that meant being at the club on Thursday with other loyal Friday Club members preparing mini-pitches for today’s U9 festival, then again back there on Friday to finish the job. Friday night was the club quiz. Extremely well attended and a very good laugh too. Our team, The Wooden Spooners, yes, we were Welsh, finished a very creditable joint 5th, ahead of the English contingent in 7th.

So to yesterday and the visit of Gillingham Anchorians. The pitch looked a picture. It is amazing how it has dried out, in fact, our training pitch has dried so much it is positively hard. It was ‘ladies day’ yesterday with our burgeoning ladies team front and centre. Great lunch as always, with added fun and games led by the wonderful Sharon. I think it is fair to say our two guests at lunch from Gillingham were mightily impressed with what we do, and how we do it.

So to the game. The Bard is back so if you want a blow by blow account it is on the website. We started like greyhounds out of the traps. Within a blink of the eye Will Pitman was going over in the corner after some great handling to free up the space. We were playing some scintillating rugby. Backs and forwards linking beautifully, great support lines and crisp handling. Young Mason Rosier, making his 1st XV debut in the centre, did not look out of place. We played the simple stuff well and before you knew it we were over again, and again, and again. The whippet Pitman bagging three of the tries for himself. Jarrod Hermann’s boot was working well slotting the conversions from the touchline, but also looking at total ease at outside half.

Gillingham Anchorians have had a good run of late and as the game progressed you could see why. Their #10 controlled proceedings well, with their fullback adding spice with powerful runs. They were’t going down without a fight and to their credit had us under pressure. In the main our defence held up well but the ‘As’ did put points on the scoreboard before half time.

The second half was a more even contest. We still held the whip hand with Andy Kidd, Adam King and Will Creasy making bullocking runs into the heart of the visitors defence. This set up a solid attacking platform for the backs allowing us to add yet more tries to our side of the equation. Tommy Dinnis coming on at #9 for Harry Marchesi made quite a statement with an excellent solo try. Moving left, then right, outpacing several defenders he scored under the posts. Not to be outdone Rosier, now playing alongside his dad Mark who came on at the break, latched on to a superb long pass out wide and covered the ground like a gazelle on heat for his try. Probably the loudest cheer of the day.

It wasn’t all one way traffic, Gillingham added a couple of tries to take them to 21 points. I for one give them my fullest praise. The way we were playing at times a lesser side could have capitulated. They didn’t. They stuck at it and I’m sure they will be safe in Kent 1 for another season.

Everyone of the 36 who took to the field played their part in what was a cracking game, and an outstanding performance by our boys. Final score 50-21. We stay in 7th just ahead of Beccehamian. Next week the 1st XV host champions elect Old Elthamians. They are currently perfect for the season, 18 games, 18 wins all with the bonus point. Can we pull off a shock and bring them down to earth. If we play like we did yesterday, YES WE CAN.

Our 2s were over at Uckfield losing 39-17. That is still a solid result. Well done them.

Yesterday was rounded off with live music post match. Me and Mrs Bleater, The Bard and his lovely wife, were frozen so we headed to the welcoming arms of our respective homes, and in our case the comfort of a glass of sherry to warm the cockles.

As mentioned above it is the Sussex U9 festival today at Steel Cross. I’ve done my bit so am keeping well clear today.

The proper news is terrifying. What has that idiot Trump done. I know the Iranian regime is odious but Trump’s actions quickly followed by the Israelis has sent the world into a tailspin which unless we are careful we might not recover from. Heaven help us all.