How was the journey Bleater? Actually, for a Monday morning it was pretty good. A couple of very minor hold ups when the traffic was stationary, as opposed to paper and pens which is stationery. Lots to do on arrival, and a full agenda today, including this drivel and my Spanish lesson.

Ok, what’s what? Seaford beat Lewes on Saturday in the Sussex Junior Shield. Weybridge Vandals beat Trinity in the Papa Johns and are now set to face us in the next round. It is at their place and not at Steel Cross. More details to follow. The final round of the National leagues was on Saturday with TJs losing at Dorking, but TJs were already promoted. Sevenoaks beat Havant which puts them in a very creditable 10th spot. Worthing lost by quite a lot at home to Guernsey. Worthing now face life in Regional 1.

I had an interesting note from Mighty Oak Andy. This is ‘hearsay’ and mustn’t be taken as gospel. TJs promotion to National 1 is a great result and should be applauded. However, as has been the case with other clubs, the thought of significant amounts of travel, and therefore time away from work/home is not to everyone’s liking. Players have been hawking themselves around clubs nearby as a consequence. It seems however that few clubs are willing to match what TJs were paying as a match fee. It has been alleged that Westcombe Park might be a team to watch next season in National 2 !!! Thanks Andy, I have heard something similar from other sources.

Congratulations again to the Red Roses winning the Six Nations. They were strolling to victory at one moment but had to dog it out at the death as France came storming back.

The least said about Wales Women the better.

Tony Rowe had a right old rant at his players post the humiliation against Gloucester. Quite right too. He has poured millions of his British pounds into Exeter, and whilst they have been at the pinnacle of the game, of late, they are hardly any better than woeful Newcastle. He has also wielded the axe with coaches Rob Hunter and Ali Hepher being suspended. The club must be fearful of the old dog walking away and taking his money with him.

Bill Sweeney has now openly admitted that a top flight franchise system is a possibility. I have to say I can’t quite get my head around it and would be very sceptical if they got it in place for next season. Franchising in any line of business is not a quick fix.

Over the bridge in the land of the pessimist we hear that Dave Reddin has picked up his poisoned chalice and becomes the WRU Director of Rugby. A man who knows sport and has a very good track record, but is that enough. Does he have skin of the rhinoceros, that key attribute hasn’t been mentioned. He and the board now have to find someone daft enough to be Head Coach.

With the exception of the Dragons, the three Welsh regions have started to play good rugby and put wins on the board. All three could, yes its a long shot, reach the playoffs.

Simon Easterby, now a Lions coach, won’t be driving anywhere soon. He has been banned for six months for speeding. Sara will have to pull the seat forward and act as chauffeur for many weeks to come.

Chelsea could be playing at Twickenham if Stamford Bridge is redeveloped the papers say. We will see pigs fly over London before that happens. Richmond Borough Council will not sanction that I’m sure.

As expected the Bluebirds are not flying over Cardiff any more. The City have been relegated, ironically to be replaced by Wrexham.

I have been taken to task by Mighty Oak Andy for berating and doing down our capital city. He states, as a regular commuter it is a fine and safe city. I don’t go to London very often, but I will say that the last time I did I saw a phone snatch outside Green Park tube, three people tailgating through the stations ticket gates, and a right rumble just off Oxford St near Bond St. He is right, I shouldn’t believe everything written in the papers, but based on my limited experience it isn’t the Utopia many think it is.

Monday 28th April: 08:00

Since before Christmas something has come up that has meant postponing trips to Bridgnorth. Well, thankfully the stars are aligned. In essence the car is back to its efficient best, my knee is on the mend, our rugby commitments are in abeyance, and our other family commitments are complete, for the time being at least.

Plenty to discuss, including the complete capitulation of Exeter against Gloucester, Wales Women emulating their male counterparts and ending the Six Nations in ignominy, Bath putting Newcastle to the sword, and of course England Women lifting the Six Nations.

All this can wait until tomorrow when I will have time on my hands.

There were a few local games played and I will bring you news of those tomorrow too.

In the meantime I intend to bask in the glory of CRFC’s contribution to Sussex Rugby, and time permitting ring around to see if anyone needs their car park relined and can The Bard be of assistance.

Ok, that’ll do. BA2126 from Tampa to LGW is due over the ‘Borough shortly. It’s currently at 5,000ft soon to make a left turn to find the LGW localiser.

Sunday 27th April: 09:00

As the great John Inverdale used to say ‘let’s separate the occasion from the contest’. Let me start with the occasion: Sussex Cup finals day at Steel Cross hosted by CRFC. These things are not thrown together in a hope they will go well. There has to be a plan, a plan from catering, to warm-up areas, to changing room allocation, to parking, to bar provision. Every detail needs to be considered. I would very proudly suggest that Crowborough Rugby Club had done that and then delivered in spades. Jacqui and Louise and their teams were outstanding. The buffet by the way for the ‘honoured’ guests from around the county was excellent. The Friday Club had the place looking a picture and The Bard had single handedly turned parts of Steel Cross into an NCP Car Park without the exorbitant charges. A group of the old fogeys clad in their hi-vis vests marshalled the parking. The wonderful Mr G and our excellent DoR did their bit on the day, and for many days prior in getting the plan in place. Nigel was like a nightclub bouncer making sure people behaved, and access to the buffet was limited to those invited guests. By the way Mrs Bleater and I made that list would you believe. Perhaps there was a cock-up in the planning after all !!! Why did it work so well? Simply because that is what CRFC do. They do things well. There is one other important reason it worked. The club owns all their land. That gives them the freedom to manage things how they want, and if that means parking on the upper training area, and banning dogs from the grounds then that can happen. A HUGE well done to all involved.

Then came the three contests First up was Brighton Medics v Pulborough 2s. As I was one of the Old Fogeys in a hi-vis I missed a sizeable chunk of this one but what I did see was a contest where youth and impetuosity prevailed over ageing limbs. The students had gas on their side and as the game wore on so they were able to exploit it. Well done them.

I saw a little more of the Ditchling v East Grinstead 2s game, and enjoyed what I saw. Some excellent passages of free-flowing rugby intermingled with good old fashioned rugby ‘grunt’. Ditchling had the edge up front, especially in the latter stages, and eventually wore down a dogged East Grinstead outfit.

Then came the main event. Crowborough v Eastbourne in the Bob Rogers Cup. Both sides had finished their seasons well with solid league positions and having played some really good rugby throughout. Eastbourne travelled en masse. So much so I would suggest their travelling support outnumbered the locals. The game opened with an early Crowborough try, a well taken effort by the pacy Will Pitman. It proved to be a real wake up call for the visitors. They started to play a 15 man open running game which had has on the back foot. Yes, our defence was pretty good but soon Eastbourne were over for a try and the lead. They kicked their conversion. Whilst we used the ball well when in possession with skipper Dave Bennett leading from the front, and his charges following his fine example, it wasn’t enough. Eastbourne when in possession had us twisting and turning this way and that, and with their pacy wide men running amok, had us on the rack and 21-5 to the good. They whipper snapper at nine, and the calm head at 10 were managing the game beautifully. Their #8 was a thorn in our side in attack and defence throughout the half.

With the omens at the half not looking good the home coaches set about putting things right. A couple of changes to the lineup and a few tweaks to the game plan set the second half in motion. The boys in the red and white hoops set about their task with aplomb. Possession for Eastbourne was much harder to come by, and when Crowborough had the ball the play was much more cohesive, backs and forwards linking well, getting the ball wide when the opportunity presented itself, and keeping it ‘up the jumper’ when needed. Eastbourne defended ferociously keeping Crowborough at bay. However, having lost their #8 to a yellow card the turning point came. We started to find space out wide and twice, once with a lucky bounce of the ball we went over. Before you knew it the scoreboard read 24-21.

Eastbourne weren’t going to lie down. A penalty and they were level and it was anyone’s game. Crowborough haven’t weathered the storm of Kent 1 without learning how to dig in and slug a game out to its conclusion. Two more well take tries put the hosts in the ascendency and the trophy was secure, or was it. With the an easy overlap at hand the outstanding Bennett tried an outrageous pass when the simple pass was on. The ball went astray and before you knew it Eastbourne were over for a score 34-31. The last few minutes were nail biting but the boys hung on to lift the Bob Rogers Cup for the second consecutive season.

Everyone one of the match day squad played their part so I applaud them all. As I do everyone of the Eastbourne squad. This was a contest of the highest quality played between two very good sides, and I think it is fair to say no-one would have begrudged Eastbourne a victory. It was obvious why they had had a very good season.

The match officials added to the drama and with the exception of the yellow card for a technicality they enabled the game to be played in spirit that epitomises what rugby is about, sporting values.

I close by again saying Crowborough RFC did the game proud yesterday, on and off the field. WELL DONE ALL !!!!

Thursday 24th April: 08:55

Buenos dias mis amigos. Tengo que practicar espanol, porque hoy no tengo articulos de rugby sobre los que escribir.

Ok, that’s enough of the Spanish. Back to my very poor English, and even worse English grammar!!

There really is a paucity of stuff in the rugby pages this morning. Katy Daly-Mclean has reiterated what I said several weeks ago; England will win the Women’s Six Nations this year, and next, and the year after, unless something changes. What can change? Not a lot. The teams that could challenge England are New Zealand, possibly Australia, USA and possibly Canada. To have annual tournament including these would be way too expensive and logistically difficult. There is an interesting idea that suggests based on current standings you have two European pools of three. Games are played home and away. It is quite complicated but the tournament would end with a finals day at a single location with back to back matches. The Torygraph have the full article.

The same paper brings us Ben Young’s view that the season is too stop-start and undermining the Premiership. He is right, and we have done that one to death. Something needs to give but when money is involved the power brokers will be reluctant for change.

Henry Pollock on the shortlist for European player of the year. Not sure about that but I am pretty certain Damper will button hole me on Friday and say it is a good call.

Nolann Le Garrec has apologised for being a complete idiot. His pathetic amateur dramatics was outrageous.

St Helens, Swansea probably more famous for Sir Gary Sobers hitting six sixes off the bowling of Malcolm Nash, is to be transformed into the new home of the Ospreys. It makes sense. Playing in front of a half empty swansea.com stadium isn’t a great look. St Helens is in a great location and the addition of a purpose built fanzone will enhance the spectator experience. Not that you will be vaguely interested but WalesOnline for this one.

In the proper news Trump has suggested Ukraine concede all the territory illegally captured by Russia, including Crimea, to Russia. Who does the Big Orange one think he is. May I suggest that the US concedes Alaska to Canada and the Hawaiian Islands to Fiji. Europe has a lot to answer for this mess. They did absolutely jack all when Russian invaded Crimea all those years ago. It’s too late now. Why did they sit on their hands? Oil and gas, that’s why.

It really makes me mad to hear that weasel Milliband bleat on about stopping North Sea oil and gas production and going green. Why? It will force us in the UK to be even more reliant on oil and gas from overseas. Held hostage to fortune is a better way of putting it. Also it is madness when many of the components for green energy will come from Chinese, or other low cost producing countries.

Making America Great Again is turning into a complete and utter farce. Economic confidence across the globe is nosediving, no more so than in the US itself. 340m people and the best the US can do is Donald Jerk Trump.

Mind you we’ve got Sir U-Turn. He blows in the wind more than Mrs Bleater’s lettuce, which are coming along nicely despite the colder nights.

Finalmente el vuelo sobre de Crowborough es Norwegian SA a Londres Gatwick.

Wednesday 23rd April: 08:55

A very Happy St George’s day, except according to the church it isn’t. Apparently they have moved it!. If you are vaguely interested in that then do your own research.

It continues to be a sad indictment of the status of rugby that finding anything to drivel on about is few and very far between.

Ben Youngs is hanging up his boots at the end of the season. What a fantastic career. 127 caps for his country, a myriad of games under his belt for Leicester Tigers, and of course a couple of Lions caps. Reading the articles about him I didn’t realise what a dynasty the Youngs family was at Leicester Tigers. His father Nick racked up a huge number of games, as did his brother Tom. Good luck in retirement.

Steve Diamond is back in the news. This time threatening Saracens and Bath with legal action after the poaching of academy players and the subsequent non-payment of the compensation that accrues. Gloucester are in the firing line too.

I didn’t realise there was such a scheme. It makes me wonder why, as I have suggested previously, that clubs at lower levels who under the regulations can pay players aren’t forced to pay compensation to clubs who are not allowed to pay when players are ‘poached’. I use the word ‘poached’ as often how these things are done is in an underhand way. I reiterate my view that players should be encouraged to play at the highest level their ability allows them to do so. Being induced away and then being shafted by not playing is not on however.

The Italy v Wales game in the Women’s Six Nations is set to be moved as it clashes with the internment of the Pope.

Christian Wade is off to rugby league, Wigan to be exact. Having tried his hand at the NFL it is the turn of league. If he gets enough of the ball in space he’ll do fine.

Steve Tandy has emerged as favourite for the poison chalice, aka Welsh Head Coach. I’m not sure. With nothing to lose I would have tried to lure Mark Jones away from the Ospreys. Plenty in the Welsh press about who else will be on the coaching ticket. Adam Jones, Duncan Jones, Matt Sherratt and Danny Wilson are all being mentioned. In my humble opinion it would be hard to pull any of those four away from their current roles.

Forget Emmerdale, Eastenders, Coronation Street, the soap opera that is Welsh rugby continues. The three regions, Ospreys, Scarlets and Dragons, are now holding out on signing the deal that was previously ‘agreed’. The takeover of Cardiff by the WRU has thrown a very large spanner in the works.

Looking ahead, I don’t have to remind you, 15:30 on Saturday the Bob Rogers Cup Final at Steel Cross: Crowborough v Eastbourne. There are two other games ahead of that, the first kicking off at 11:30. With the weather set fair why not make a day of it. I’ll be there to help before cheering on the boys.

Sale v Saracens on Friday evening. That should be a decent game.

In the proper news it seems the UK have borrowed £15bn more than forecast. Now that isn’t good news. Talks to try and bring an end to the Ukraine conflict continue but it seems the US are playing silly buggers with key players withdrawing from said talks at late notice.

On this gloomy Wednesday morning that’ll do. Things to do including my daily Spanish lesson. Si, es verdad.

Tuesday 22nd April: 08:40

If you were ever in doubt, it does seem the Lions tour to Australia later this year is the Irish Lions, forget the ‘British’ bit. The addition of Johnny Sexton to an already Irish loaded coaching squad confirms this. I anticipate the playing squad will be similarly loaded despite Ireland not achieving the highs of previous seasons. If the best players, regardless of nationality, are selected to tour then I have no problem with that. However, I fear that won’t be the case, and I even see Owen Farrell making the tour, which if that were to pass, would take away my desire to be fully engaged with the tour. We’ll know soon enough.

The Worcester Warriors saga is back in the news. They have been granted Championship status if they meet a number of stringent criteria. At the top is the full repayment of debt owed to creditors. Well, the new man at the helm, Chris Holland, according to an exclusive in the Daily Fail, has told said creditors that payments will have to be phased over a period of time. He has even had the temerity to ask for the debt to wiped clean in return for a match day lunch. Look, I don’t fully understand the machinations of rugby finance at the top level, and certainly not the complexity of debt repayment post administration, but if you have told the RFU you will repay the debt before the season starts, you should repay the debt. I’m not Nostradamus but I foresee the Warriors going out of business before they get back into business, if that makes sense.

Brian Moore has stated he doesn’t like rugby’s franchise plan, but goes on to say ‘it could be only hope’.

There is plenty in the same paper about France’s Nolann Le Garrec, the whipper snapper scrum-half and understudy to Antoine Dupont. During the recent Racing 92 v Perpignan match Le Garrec was seen ‘diving’ after a very innocuous contact with a Perpignan prop. Go online and search for it. It is an embarrassing act of simulation which has incensed Nigel Owens, the ref, not our Nigel of a similar name.

I don’t use Tik Tok, I have no need for such vacuous social media. I write my own nonsense thank you very much. However, it seems the platform is popular with the younger generations. Why do I mention this? Well it seems, during the Women’s Six Nations post match, win or lose, players have been performing for Tik Tok ‘likes’. If it engages people with the game so be it.

Talking of which, my friend Damper took me to task for criticising Henry Pollock and his try scoring antics. I have seen them, and yes, the whole thing might have been blown out of all proportion, but being an old fuddy duddy they could be seen as provocative. Damps states, sensibly, that players like Pollock are the ones the young kids look to, and if a little ‘theatre’ is added to proceedings isn’t that a good thing.

Plenty of rugby ahead, including the ‘big one’, Crowborough v Eastbourne. Apparently both sides are really up for the contest.

Congratulations to Leeds United and Burnley, both promoted to the promised land. I hope they fair better than Leicester City and Southampton. My friend Mike B will be like a dog with two….tails this morning. A staunch Burnley supporter.

As you would expect the papers remain filled with the passing of the Pope. Trumps antics continue to cause turmoil for the markets. Surprise, surprise, the lefty luvvies are hand-wringing about the Supreme Courts recent prognostication.

Whilst all that is going on the small boats continue to arrive with impunity, shoplifting has become a national obsession, and London continues to spiral into decay as crime goes on unabated.

Other than that all is well in the world. A world which it seems Ed Milliband and his misguided net-zero zealots are spending a huge time circumnavigating. Hypocrites of the highest order!!!!!!

Oh, and the BA 2158 flight from Vieux Fort, St Lucia is due to land at LGW at 10:40 so expect it over Crowborough about 10 minutes before that. It is a Boeing 777-236(ER).

Monday 21st April: 10:15

The Pontiff has passed on to the other side. All the papers bring you the news of the Pope’s last few hours and what happens next: the Conclave, the world’s most secretive vote. May he rest in peace, as I hope are all those remembered at the club’s annual memorial game are doing.

My good friend Damper tells me I missed a splendid day on Saturday. A superb lunch for over 80 people, an excellent free-flowing game, some splendid words from Clarky our President, and most importantly a re-acquaintance with many old friends. Well done Graysey for making this happen.

Bristol were the architects of their downfall for long periods yesterday. Trying to play like the Harlem Globetrotters is fine, but executing like Under 6s who have never picked up a ball before is a recipe for disaster. To be fair, Leicester Tigers defence was outstanding.

Wales Women are emulating their male counterparts heading for the wooden spoon. They were put in their place by an ever improving Irish side.

Elsewhere Leicester City were relegated after losing to title chasing Liverpool 1-0. Its been on the cards for months so no big drama.

The F1, with the exception of a crash on lap 1 was pretty ordinary.

OK, that’ll do on this Bank Holiday Easter Monday.

Back tomorrow.

Sunday 20th April: 09:15

A very Happy Easter Sunday to you all. I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the Memorial Match at Steel Cross yesterday. A number of things conspired against me, including my knee going ‘ping’ whilst doing some gardening yesterday morning. It is still sore this morning. One thing I do know about yesterday, the club would have been in great shape after the old fogeys worked tirelessly on the pitch and the club’s environs on Friday morning.

Can I also say that I have heard some wonderful things about how brilliantly well run the Mini Festival was. Also can I say that the team who tidied up after the event did an AMAZING job. Well done all.

So what’s happened since last week. Northampton Saints hung on for a draw against Newcastle Falcons on Friday evening. It was a very enjoyable encounter actually. Cardiff beat Ospreys in the first of the Welsh derbies. Leg up and a glass of cider in hand is how Saturday afternoon was spent, instead of being at the club. Another pretty enjoyable match. Wales has talented players, that was clear enough from this game, just not enough of them.

I haven’t seen it yet but I see the Dragons threw away a commanding lead to lose to Scarlets in the second of the derby contests.

I must be a real masochist supporting Leicester City, probably relegated today, supporting Cardiff City, likely to be relegated next week, and the Dragons, bottom of the URC and perennial losers. Hey Ho! It’s only sport.

I see Bath fought off a spirit Exeter side to stay well clear at the top of the Premiership. Gloucester lost at Saracens meaning Sarries move up into 4th. Sale are in 3rd after their fine win at Harlequins, who seem to have lost their way recently. Bristol v Leicester today. That should be well worth watching. Sadly it clashes with Wales v Ireland in the Women’s Six Nations.

Talking of which England strolled past Scotland as expected, and France beat Italy, less convincingly however. Next Saturday’s England v France showdown should be quite a game.

Going back to Saracens v Gloucester, this was a game where the concept of an ‘away end’ was trialled. The Guardian headlines with ‘Gloucester fans ruffle feathers in boisterous experiment’. The Torygraph lead with ‘Rowdy Gloucester supporters not enough to distract Saracens from returning to top four’. The idea has received mixed reviews. Whilst the behaviour never really overstepped the mark there were occasions when it was very close to being unacceptable. On the other hand both papers state the atmosphere was enhanced, and both coaches had plenty positive to say about it. Let’s see how it develops going forward. I did note less than 9,000 were at the Stone-X on Saturday.

There is a fascinating article in The Torygraph, picked up by others now, about the possibility of a franchise system for the Premiership. Think the IPL, and NFL. It is a bold idea, but worth exploring. In essence it becomes a closed shop with teams being ‘owned’ by investors who buy in players each season. There could be a further draft system from a central academy to ensure an equal spread of talent. It is definitely something worth considering, but rushing into it would be a disaster.

Looking ahead the Bob Rogers Cup Final next Saturday. More on this in the week.

In other news Putin declares a ceasefire and then proceeds to bomb parts of Ukraine. He has also instigated a forced conscription policy, going as far as to raid gyms for young men to fight for the Motherland.

The decision of the Supreme Court has caused quite a stir. I for one fully support their decision. I see Trans activists rallied in London yesterday to voice their opposition. A perfect example of the tail wagging the dog. I guarantee the headlines about thousands of supporters will simply gloss over the many, many millions who, like me, silently support the decision.

On that controversial point, I’ll move swiftly on ……… to breakfast!!

Thursday 17th April: 09:20

Today it’s all about the fixtures. Tomorrow evening the Premiership returns with Newcastle Falcons hosting Northampton Saints. Whilst Saints have blazed a trail in Europe their league form has been patchy. Will Falcons without Steve Diamond barking his orders offer any sort of resistance.

I looked at the judgement form for Mr Diamond and see that the panel decided his outburst was a ‘low-end’ entry point. Having some experience of discipline matters I find this somewhat disappointing. His outburst was pretty outrageous, and at grassroots level players and coaches have got a lot worse, for a lot less. Perhaps the system is flawed.

Welsh derby day on Saturday. Ospreys v Cardiff, followed by Dragons v Scarlets. These without doubt are the pick of the fixtures in the URC. All three Premiership games on Saturday offer up something interesting. Exeter v Bath: will the juggernaut that is Bath keep rolling on? Harlequins v Sale: can Marcus Smith put himself back in the frame for a Lions spot. Will Sale move into the play-off spot with a win. Saracens v Gloucester: this is all about the play-offs. An away win and the West Country outfit are in the driving seat. A home win and who says Saracens won’t put on a burst and push all the way through to the final. Bristol v Leicester on Sunday is probably the pick of the round with 2nd playing 3rd in the league.

The Women’s Six Nations continues. Thankfully, after yesterday’s monumental ruling we now know for sure what a ‘woman’ is. At last sporting bodies, in the UK at least, can say a man with a wig and dangly bits in the shorts can no longer play in women’s sport. It also hopefully means the we can do away with unisex toilets. Sorry, I digressed. England will beat Scotland, and France will win in Italy leaving what was a foregone conclusion, England v France, for the title on April 26th. Wales host Ireland on Sunday. I can only see an away win I’m afraid.

Don’t forget the Memorial Game at Steel Cross on Saturday. If you pull your finger out there is still time to book in for lunch. I apologise now but I won’t be there. A family commitment takes priority.

Following from Mr Diamond’s tirade there is an excellent piece of satire, very well written in theroar.com.au. It is titled ‘wanting consistency from our referees……’. I enjoyed it.

https://www.theroar.com.au/2025/04/17/referees-are-only-human-and-perfection-is-impossible-but-that-doesnt-mean-us-fans-cant-tell-them-how-to-make-things-better/ . This link might work, it might not.

In other sport the Scaletrix is in Saudia Arabia, boo and hiss, this weekend. Leicester City will lose at home to Liverpool, the IPL continues apace, and if I read the article correctly a French tennis star needs deodorant.

In other news, confidence grows for a US-UK trade deal. There is no confidence the Birmingham bin strike will be resolved. On this point, isn’t it odd that all the mouthpieces spouting their left wing rhetoric actually live miles from Birmingham and are totally unaffected by the rats the size of small dogs. The Torygraph has a cartoon that leads with ‘Supreme Court and the Outbreak of Common Sense’. Hallelujah to that brothers, and sisters of course. The Daily Fail brings us news Alien life has been found. We all knew that you clowns. It is living in the White House by the name of D Trump. Finally the UK has banned bringing certain meat and cheese products into the UK the Border Force has announced. Well good luck with that. If you can’t stop an armada of small boats filled with illegal immigrants how are you going to stop Mrs Miggins and her husband bringing back from Italy a few slices of salami and portion of parmesan. You’re not.

That’ll do. As is ever the case things to do, and I thought I had retired may years ago!! Back on Sunday as its is Friday Club tomorrow. Due to the terrible shortage of rugby news I might bring back the ever popular ‘what’s flying over Crowborough this morning Bleater?’ Actually, not much as Gatwick is configured for landings in an easterly direction.

Wednesday 16th April: 09:50

The rain was welcome yesterday. It certainly freshened things up. It is a truly sad indictment of the state of rugby that there is always so very little written about our game in the papers, and all too often what is written doesn’t make good reading. Today is a perfect example.

Steve Diamond, the flinty Head Coach Consultant at Newcastle Falcons has been given a season ending ban after hitting out at match officials and telling a TMO to retire. His outburst used language not repeatable in this drivel but I can assure you it was at the top end of the unacceptable scale. He was annoyed, apoplectic is a better description, after his side conceded a last minute, hotly disputed try against Exeter. He has, in my opinion, compounded the situation by now saying the discipline process ‘is flawed’. The discipline process has its flaws. The Garry Ringrose debacle is a perfect example of how to get it spectacularly wrong. The game from top to bottom is desperate for match officials. They are human beings and make mistakes. So do coaches and players, and probably a lot more of them too. We cannot allow match officials to be abused in the way that Diamond has gone about it. In my opinion the six match ban is too short. I’ve looked at the regulations and he seems to be three matches light. I intend to explore this a little more and get back to you. The issue is not the preserve of the top of the game. We have way too many coaches from Under 6s upwards who think they are coaching England at a World Cup Final and winning is everything. They forget that most referee’s are volunteers and unlike many coaches in the senior game are not getting paid for keeping our game running. It hacks me off when I come across coaches being paid good money berating match officials when in truth it would be more appropriate to berate their coaching.

Optimism of a deal in Wales was misplaced. Agreement hasn’t been reached and the game at regional level is still in limbo. Obviously Cardiff’s financial collapse has thrown the current proposal on a five year deal into question. The concerns of Ospreys, Dragons and Scarlets have not been published, nor has the WRU reaction to the non-compliance with the deadline.

The IRFU have caused a bit of a stir by announcing a £15.8m deficit, and followed that up with a demand that the four provinces will now have to make a bigger contribution to the funding of their international stars. If I have interpreted the article correctly, currently the provinces pay 30% of a national players wages. Next season that rises to 40% with the IRFU paying the balance. That will be a big hit for Leinster as they are pretty much the Irish national side. The BBC carry this one.

Where does the World Cup go. South Africa and New Zealand have said ‘no thanks’ we can’t afford it. After the debacle in France where mis-management has lead to a £11m loss for the French union who can blame them. Spain have expressed an interest but not sure how that will pan out. The concern therefore is that the Middle East is waiting in the wings with their bags of cash. Japan would be another option, and having recently reread my diary about our 2019 adventure that would be a good shout. The Guardian carries this story.

Australia have recently signed a big bucks, five year deal with Nine Entertainment. $240m of which some could find its way into the players pockets if Australia are successful in the World Cup, against the Lions and in Super Rugby. It comes at the right time as Rugby Australia post a $36.8m deficit. Who said rugby finances were well run. Not me!!!

I watched the Aston Villa v PSG game last night. An absolute cracker. Sorry to say, it is no wonder rugby at times fails to capture the imagination with its complicated laws and the stop start nature of the contests.

Plenty of other news including the nationalisation of British Steel. Is it the right thing to do? Probably yes.

I see the unions have stuck two fingers up at Angela Rayner. That is worrying as Rayner intends to give her union paymasters even more powers.

Nigel Farage is an odious man. Simmering away under the surface I think is a racist, but he is not wrong when he says this country is broken. The police are underfunded yet we allow people to make a living by doing bugger all. Illegal immigrants who are running criminal enterprises are allowed to stay with impunity. I could go, on and on. We voted for change and have got chaos.

Tuesday 15th April: 10:10

A definite paucity of rugby news to get stuck into today. Today being the first wet day for some time. It won’t be enough to make any difference to the hardness of the ground but it might bring some of the plants to life in the garden.

A big day for three of the four Welsh regions with decisions required on the new financial deal that the WRU have put on the table. If acceptance is reached then the game might just move forward in a positive way.

Henry Pollock has come in for some criticism for his outlandish try celebrations. Yeah, a bit childish in my opinion, you Pillock.

Stuart Barnes, writing in The Sunday Times, has said the Premiership and the Welsh regions should look at an Anglo-Welsh league. With Newcastle teetering on the brink and little chance of Championship clubs meeting the strict criteria the Welsh could breathe life into the Premiership. Some of the rivalries would be intense. Sorry Barnsey, a great idea but the inward facing Premiership won’t buy into the idea, especially as financially it might mean less revenue for them and more for the Welsh regions.

Still nonsense talk of Owen Farrell making the Lions tour. He didn’t play well in the 33 minutes he had on Saturday, and in that time, according to many, he should have been sent off for a very dangerous entry into a ruck leading with his shoulder making direct contact with the head.

Georgia are pushing for a place in the URC. Their biggest team, Black Lion, deserves a place based on Georgia’s rankings, and the fact the new global international series precludes them from ‘Tier 1’ contests. It is a good point. However, Georgia is a nightmare to get to and with the already ludicrous complexity of including the South African franchises is this really what the game needs. Perhaps Barnsey has a point!!

The Premiership returns this weekend, as does the URC. Two big Welsh derbies over the Easter weekend to get excited about, both live on terrestrial TV.

It is the big memorial match at the club on Saturday. All the info you need is on the website.

That’ll do for now rugby wise.

The bin men in Birmingham are still on strike. What a shambles. A Labour run council that ran out of money from poor financial management is now having to deal with the fall out.

There is hope for a US-UK trade deal, but quite frankly folks I wouldn’t hold my breath over it.

The Russians are, as I predicted, exploiting Trump’s refusal to back Ukraine. Atrocity after atrocity on innocent civilians.

The lily-livered judges continue their campaign of screwing the once Great Britain.

Back tomorrow with more gripping articles, NOT, from the world of rugby and beyond.

Monday 14th April: 09:30

As the league season is over for most there aren’t too many results to bring you. Congratulations to TJs, their comfortable win at Oxford Harlequins, and Dorking’s defeat at Canterbury, sends them up into National 1 next season. It was what they wanted, and what they have achieved. Be careful what you wish for: the travel will be intense and the costs will be increased, and your player recruitment might become harder as the local teams around the area will no longer have players required for that level. Sevenoaks lost over in Guernsey, and Worthing, already relegated lost at home to Westcombe Park.

In the ‘slice of pizza’ cup East Grinstead beat Haywards Heath. EG now face Hove in the next round. Pulborough got thumped by Old Elthamians who will be in our league next season. I anticipate the ambition of Old Elthamians will see them move through our league with ease. Beccs were beaten by Trinity who now face Weybridge Vandals. The winner of that one will play us at Steel Cross on May 3rd.

The Sussex Cups have now been finalised. On April 26th at Steel Cross BSMS play Pulborough 2s, Ditchling play East Grinstead 2s, and we play Eastbourne in the main Sussex competition, the Bob Rogers Cup.

Lots of other variants of Sussex cups will be played the same day, on May 3rd and May 17th. Seven finals to be exact.

In the European Challenge Cup Bath made a very clear statement of intent beating Gloucester 61-26. Toulouse beat Toulon 18-21.

Looking through the papers Brian Moore in the Torygraph states ‘the RFU must wake up to amateur rugby’s money drain’. In essence, whilst a bunch of rebels, quite rightly, caused a stink about the bonuses paid to the RFU’s board, Moore points to the amount of money being wasted on players at the lower levels of the game. Often players of mediocre talent, and seen solely as ‘a make-weight’ in any given squad. Clubs are blinded by ambition and are throwing money at the hope of advancement, often with catastrophic results. There is a club near us with that ambition who are paying players c.£150 per game. That is a minimum of £50k and that doesn’t include the cost of coaches. When you add in the travel costs you are probably up in the region of £80k. If you have a benefactor that is all well and good until he or she walks. Look at East Grinstead some years ago. It cannot be sustainable. Based on anecdotal evidence from plenty of sources the recruitment of paid players, lets call them mercenaries, is very often seen as divisive and causes rifts, with players often leaving the game. It is, as Moore points out, disruptive for the area around those with ambition. Talent brought through the mini and junior sections is poached leaving local clubs struggling to keep their senior game going. Heaven knows we have had plenty of players leave chasing the dream of better quality rugby, and money per game. Sadly, often to find they don’t make the 1st XV and don’t get paid. Moore’s main point is the RFU still haven’t got to grips with the problem. Sanctions need to be applied in a very stringent way. Work with HMRC, stop central funding, and stop international ticket allocations. The latter would make people sit up as often the tickets go to sponsors who are ultimately paying for the players.

Oh, and before anyone writes in to criticise, I am a firm believer that players should be encouraged to play at the highest level possible. They should not be held back. It is the misleading inducements and the false promises meaning that ambition is not met that get me annoyed.

Right, that’ll do for now, except to say it seems the CRFC Mini Festival was a great success yesterday. I have seen some of the feedback and it is extremely complimentary. Well done to all involved. You know who you are.

Sunday 13th April: 08:30

As you will have guessed, with the boys from the ‘Borough not having a game this weekend there is a paucity of stuff to get my teeth into. I might start with me being mugged at Gatwick Airport yesterday. Yep, I arrived at 17:25 to collect the family from their well deserved holiday, and less than two minutes later I’m leaving. £6 that cost me. On the basis of just one car every minute for 18 hours a day, and 365 days a year that is a revenue of close to £2.4m. Bearing in mind when I dropped them off the Saturday before there must have been close to 20 cars dropping off the revenue is likely to be significantly higher. Do you know what hacks me off the most? Gatwick Airport is owned by the French!!!!

Looking through the rugby pages, congratulations to England putting away a very stubborn and well drilled Irish side to maintain their position atop of the Women’s Six Nations. Wales put up a solid first half against the French but quality came through in the end. Scotland host Italy today.

The result that catches the eye from the European games thus far is Leinster’s humiliation of Glasgow. Glasgow are 2nd in the URC and playing some great rugby. 52-0 is one heck of a statement. To be fair Leinster is pretty much the Irish national side. Northampton Saints flew the flag with aplomb for the Premiership beating Castres 51-16. Reading the papers it seems George Furbank made a stunning return to action.

I watched the Ospreys v Lyon game yesterday. The Welsh outfit tried manfully but the Lyonaisse defence was outstanding. It was a pretty enjoyable encounter in the main but the Ospreys made too many basic mistakes at crucial moments. They also paid a heavy price in terms of injuries. Several of their stars were seen nursing serious looking knocks at the final whistle. Whilst in defeat Jac Morgan made a statement about his Lions credentials. He was outstanding. To be fair, as was Dewi Lake.

Today Damper will be like an excited puppy as his Bath host Gloucester. The other big contest is Toulon v Toulouse. Maybe I have cut my nose off to spite my face but I won’t get to see either of those. Perhaps I’ll see if I can find Newport v Ebbw Vale in the Super Rygbi Cymru Trophy.

Talking of Lions I see Owen Farrell was dropped to the bench by Racing 92 ahead of their game against Connacht. A game the French won, albeit narrowly. If Farrell junior makes the Lions tour it will be a travesty!!!

Plenty of other support to capture the imagination if you, like me, eschewed Premier Sports. The Scaletrix from the desert, the Masters from Augusta, the soccer from the North East, and the IPL from Jaipur and Delhi.

Talking of India, the Mighty Foxes held Brighton to a 2-2 draw yesterday. Too little too late. A Wolves win at home against Spurs and the Foxes are pretty much done for.

In other news it seems TFL have caved in to the unions again. ASLEF have just agreed a deal which means their Underground train drives now have a four day week, with less total hours and four of those hours are for a lunch break. £68,000 is the average salary of a tube driver. Compare that with nurses. It is a joke that we are constantly held to ransom by the rail unions. What makes matters worse is the RMT think the deal is a bad one and are threatening strikes. Working 34 hours over four days, having 7.4 weeks annual leave, and a salary of £68k is a bad deal. The world is going mad. What makes the blood boil is the union leaders have the temerity to say bankers are leeches on society.

You really couldn’t make this stuff up, an illegal immigrant who has a criminal record has been allowed to stay in the UK because he has too many ‘friends’ on Facebook. Honestly, what more can I say. I have no friends, let alone on Facebook. Being a straight British white male I must be in line for deportation!!

I’ll touch on the nationalisation of British Steel tomorrow.

Before I go the selection policy of the West Yorkshire Police has got people riled up. Even the most left wing of my acquaintances are saying the same thing. Select the very best candidates for the job first and foremost. By all means if two candidates are equally good then by all means then select on ethnicity. Don’t discriminate before hand. That is madness.

Good luck to those involved in the Mini Festival today. The Friday Club have got the place looking a picture. Well done you old codgers. An amazing job.

Thursday 10th April: 08:10

So it has been proven, I know nothing. Well actually, I wasn’t expected to know that Eastbourne have conceded the game in the ‘slice of pizza’ cup. Having bigged it up as the game of the weekend it turns out Eastbourne have run into an injury crisis, and with their 2nd XV on a jolly after winning their league, they can’t get a side out. Hey Ho! We now go through to the quarter finals on May 3rd. I am reliably informed that that game will be against either Beccs, Trinity, Weybridge Vandals or London Cornish. Where it will be will be decided by the blazers running this tournament.

Our 2nd XV/development game against East Grinstead is also off. This time it was us who were struggling to get a side out. You will now have to find something else to occupy yourself with on Saturday.

While I’m at it, don’t forget the Memorial Weekend at Steel Cross on April 19th. All the details are on the website. The Bob Rogers Cup Final at Steel Cross vs Eastbourne on April 26th is still ON.

If you are at a loose end then the club is looking for volunteers to help at the mini festival on Sunday. I have family staying so can’t be there. If you can, contact me:- bleater@crowboroughrugby.com and I’ll forward your details on.

The Women’s Six Nations return this weekend. Wales head to France, and England are in Ireland. The English will find the Irish are no pushover. This could be worth watching on Saturday evening.

While scanning the fixtures yesterday I missed Bath v Gloucester in the Challenge Cup on Sunday evening. I can’t watch it but I’m sure Damper will be glued to the TV cheering on his Bath team. Yes, he has forked out for Premier Sports.

It is quarter-final weekend in both European tournaments but any sort of build up in the press is noticeable by its absence. A sad indictment of our game.

The one story that caught my eye relates to the reduction in the tackle height at grassroots level. An extensive study carried out by Edinburgh University would indicate the change has resulted in a dramatic drop in head-on-head collisions. This is good news. There is no indication the law will be changed at the top of the game which is a shame. The report goes on to say that the reduction in tackle height has not resulted in an increase in knee/hip contact with the head, which at the time of introduction was a concern. Anecdotally, based on the games I have watched involving CRFC, I think the change has also led to a better product. More offloads out of the tackle, a more free-flowing game.

As expected the WRU have taken over the day-to-day running of Cardiff Rugby meaning the players and staff will get paid and the fixtures are not at risk. Good news.

Looking through the many articles on this sad state of affairs there are many similarities between Cardiff’s demise and that of Worcester Warriors. A white knight in shining armour turning up to save the day, and in truth they are no more than blokes on seaside donkeys with nothing more than empty promises to offer, or so it would seem. You have to ask how the financial governance was carried out for this to have turned bad so quickly. To be fair, Cardiff weren’t in great shape before the takeover, but nevertheless.

In other sport the F1 is in Bahrain, Leicester City are at Brighton, and the IPL continues.

In the ever changing world of Trump the chaos continues. He has halted the implementation of tariffs causing more chaos across the globe. The man is a deranged megalomaniac.

Two other articles caught my eye. £250m has been lost by the NHS by giving free medical treatment to those who are not entitled. It is a disgrace. If you were anywhere else in the world and you weren’t entitled your credit card would have been swiped in advance.

Then to reinforce the point this country has gone to the dogs, West Yorkshire Police has blocked all white British candidate applications to join the force. Surely the police need the best possible people to come forward regardless of race, sex, religion and any other criteria you can think off. In order to fill quotas the police will potentially compromise on standards. It is nonsense. Trump is a clown, but didn’t he say this sort of political correctness is why America is no longer great!

Back on Sunday. Friday Club tomorrow.

Wednesday 9th April: 10:20

Much to do today…… again, so let me crack on. The big story is the impending collapse of Cardiff Rugby. Whilst I brought you the state of Bath Rugby’s finances yesterday it seems Cardiff’s financial challenges finally came and bit them squarely on the backside. Having been bankrolled by Peter Thomas for many years the new investors, one with allegedly a track record of failing businesses in his wake, failed to deliver the stability Cardiff Rugby needed. The WRU have stepped in and made some guarantees but are somewhat hamstrung until the administrators get their ducks in a row. I know I am odious, opinionated clown a lot of the time, but I have been saying for a very long time the way the finances at top of the game in England and Wales are managed is a ‘busted flush’. This is another example of the poor governance and the over-reliance on the largesse of benefactors. WalesOnline for in depth analysis.

The huge Varisty matches between Cardiff and Swansea universities has moved from the Arms Park to the Principality Stadium as a consequence. Will Cardiff Rugby be able to put out a team for the big Easter Saturday derby clash with Ospreys. It is a shambles with a capital ‘F’

Phil Dowson, Northampton Saints DOR, has added weight to the argument voiced by Brain Moore that the disjointed nature of the season is leaving English clubs in the wake of the French and Irish outfits. I for one think it is more than that. The business model in France is very different with clubs not owning their grounds, having tax right offs, and more lucrative TV deals. The Irish Union in essence runs the provinces and their finances are a mystery. The way the season is put together is a nonsense. Whilst the RFU came in for some stick when they condensed the grassroots season in order to accommodate the ‘slice of pizza’ cup it has worked. Perhaps if there were fewer clubs in the tournament, no South African franchises, and the whole thing was played at the end of the domestic seasons, which could be brought forward, it might spark a greater interest. A draw at the start of the tournament that would allow clubs to plot their way through to the final would allow better planning in terms of travel too. One thing I am certain about is increasing the salary cap in the Premiership in order to compete would be like turkeys voting for Christmas. Hey Ho, it is all out of my hands and not having watched any of it why should I care.

If you have splashed out a shed load of cash for Premier Sports then you have Leinster v Glasgow on Friday. I’m hoping, in the old Parker Pen, the Ospreys v Lyon game will be S4C on Saturday evening. If you have SKY then there is a tasty line up of Super Rugby.

That said the BIG game, the REALLY BIG game is down in Eastbourne where we face the seaside outfit in said ‘slice of pizza’ cup. Finishing 5th in their league with a very similar set of stats to ours this should be quite a contest. April 12th, kick off 15:00 (I think). Sadly, as I am on another airport run I will miss this one.

Having trawled through the papers that is about it for rugby.

I was appalled yesterday to read how a woman has been jailed for a VERY inappropriate social media comment about the Southport tragedy, yet we have Albanian drug dealers, Jamaican murderers and a myriad of other foreign undesirables being allowed to stay in the UK, and worse, much worse, be allowed to roam free without restrictions. Our judiciary really has got its head up its backside. To reinforce the point I see two young woman who were caught smuggling 100s of thousands of pounds worth of drugs into the UK and have been let off with a slap on the wrist. Thailand are executing drug smugglers. Who has it right. I know where my vote goes.

I see the royal show pony is back in town. I know he has put his body on the line for this country and we should never, ever forget that but Prince Harry has turned into a spoilt brat. This whinging about security is complete nonsense. If you are that worried pay for it yourself out of the money you and the queen of BS is scamming out of Netflix.

That’ll do for now, except to say the boys who worked at the club yesterday did an amazing job.

Tuesday 8th April: 08:50

Another beautiful morning, which is handy, as I’m off to the club shortly to help at the club. It is our mini festival this weekend and those pitches aren’t going to mark themselves.

A point of clarification from yesterday, Uckfield will be going into Surrey/Sussex 1 next season, which is a real shame.

Before I start on today’s rugby stuff I have redefined the definition of ‘masochist’. It should now read ‘a person who supports Leicester City, and continues to do so’. They were woeful in the first half last night. Truly woeful. Relegation beckons.

Brian Moore has had a good old rant about the disjointed nature of the season at the top of the game, and the impact it is having on the Champions Cup. With bigger squads, and better funding the French and Irish clubs are less effected, however the English cups are seriously hampered, especially as was seen this weekend when both Saracens and Harlequins rested key players, and as a consequence were thumped. There is no continuity. With coverage split between broadcasters that is making matters worse. The inclusion of the South Africans has not helped. The travel costs alone for the clubs is horrendous, and the atmosphere is non-existent thanks to the lack of travelling support. He suggests the format needs to change and the number of clubs in the tournament reduced. It’s a good piece and can be found in The Torygraph.

There is a second piece in the Torygraph about the Champions Cup written by Charlie Morgan. He also says there are too many English clubs qualifying. He bemoans the clubs bad luck, and also points out that the out and out attacking style of the Premiership clubs is not what is required in Europe. Defences have to be solid.

Plenty of the papers bring you the news Dave Reddin is in line to become the new Director of Rugby at the WRU. Reddin was part of the England setup in 2003 when England won the World Cup, and has worked extensively with Gareth Southgate during his successful period as England manager. The search for a head coach goes on.

The blazers at World Rugby have found no reason to outlaw 7-1 splits on the bench. In my view that is a red herring. They should be looking at ways of reducing the number of subs in total, and not worrying about the make up of the split.

Dan Biggar is to retire at the end of the season. At times a spoilt brat of a figure on the pitch, but I have heard off it he is one of the nicest men in the game. What is undeniable is he has been a great servant to Welsh rugby, and added value at Northampton and Toulon during his time there. WalesOnline covers his amazing career in depth, and it is an amazing career with caps a plenty, and a bag full of points to boot.

Still plenty of debate about who will lead the Irish (& British) Lions in the summer. I still say it has to be Maro Itoje. From a Welsh point of view I can see just three players making the squad: Jac Morgan, Dewi Lake, and Tomos Williams, and none of them are guaranteed a place.

Bill has sent me a piece from the world renowned ‘somersetlive’ website that brings news that Bath are are only surviving thanks to the largesse of Bruce Craig. Bath made a £4m loss in the last financial year despite revenues of £20.8m. It is stated that Craig has increased his loan to the club by £5.9m, increasing the indebtedness to him to £30.1m. I’m sorry to repeat myself but the game cannot continue with this madness. Surely the demise of Wasps et al was a strong enough message for the game to get its house in order. Bath going bust would be seismic, but not now beyond the bounds of possibility. When you add in their latest recruitment you do have to ask, is it sustainable, and how do they get away with it within the salary cap.

By the way, the madness is not confined to the top of the game. I’d hate to think what the outlay is in the National Leagues as clubs pursue promotion. Player wages, travel costs etc.

OK, that’ll do for now, except to say the Israelis have a case to answer. I am not the BBC defending Hamas, they are terrorists, but you cannot accept the clear war crimes now being committed by the Israeli Defence Force. It makes them no better. In fact, based on the destruction of Gaza and the slaughter of innocents it potentially makes them worse. Free speech is not yet dead.

I know Trump is dominating the news which is good news for Sadiq Khan. The latest rounds of mindless killings in London, plus the rampant crime on the streets, and the appalling sight of drug addicts smoking crack on the Undergound have been moved off the front pages. The man needs to get off his arse and do something other than focus on ripping off hardworking, tax paying motorists.

Monday 7th April: 08:55

It’s Monday morning so it’s league round-up day, and a beautiful day it is too in the metropolis of Crowborough. Whilst everything was pretty much done and dusted in Counties Kent 1 I’ll still start there. As you know, we lost at Canterbury II but did enough to get that crucial bonus point to stay 4th. I understand from the wonderful Mr Geering our 1st half perfomance was nothing less than superb. Beccehamian did what they needed to by beating Sevenoaks II 35-22, but it wasn’t to be. 5th for them, 3rd for Sevenoaks II. Park House nearly pulled off a surprise win losing narrowly 24-29 to Dover. In the other games the results were as you would expect. Bromley beat Ashford, Cranbrook lost to The Greenies and Deal & Betteshanger beat Charlton Park. So, congratulations to Canterbury II and Bromley who are both promoted to Regional 1. Now here is the surprise, despite both being a long way adrift, both Cranbrook and Charlton Park survive. As no team is coming down into Kent 1 and two teams are going up, they will be with us again next season.

There is some doubt where Uckfield will go next season so I’m working on Old Elthamians and Gillingham Anchorians being in our fixture list next season.

In Surrey/Sussex 1 Haywards Heath lost 5-22 to Eastbourne but it seems they are set to survive the drop. Eastbourne finish 6th. Hove also survive despite losing heavily at home to now promoted Twickenham. Sadly East Grinstead are back in Sussex 2 despite drawing 21-21 at London Cornish. No reprieve for them.

In Sussex 2 Uckfield rounded off their title winning season with a home win over Ditchling. It is likely they will go into Surrey/Sussex 1 but that is yet to be confirmed. In the other games Crawley won at relegated Hove II, Pulborough beat Lewes to finish 2nd, Shoreham beat Brighton II, and Seaford thrashed Worthing III.

In Kent 3 Hastings & Bexhill rounded off their excellent season with a superb win at Beckenham II to finish 3rd, TJs II are promoted.

In Hampshire 1 my old club Trojans are relegated. Bognor finished on a high winning 12-17 at Basingstoke to finish in 5th. That is a good outcome as they were in the drop zone for a long periods early on. No surprise that Havant II end the season with a 100% record and are promoted.

In Regional 2 South Central it was a sad day for Chichester losing 37-5 at Newbury Blues. As expected Guildford beat already relegated Andover sending Chichester down into Hampshire 1 where they will join Bognor. Farnham won this league.

Up one more into Regional 1 South Central Brighton did what they had to by beating Hammersmith & Fulham 31-39. It wasn’t enough as Tunbridge Wells earned a losing and try bonus point over in Jersey to stay up. 28-24 the score there. Maidenhead condemned Horsham to bottom place, and relegation along with Brighton, by winning 53-33. As you know, London Welsh are promoted

Up in National 2 East TJs are nearly there beating Henley 34-50. Dorking in theory could still overtake them, especially as they play each other in the final game of the season at Dorking. Sevenoaks sent Worthing down into Regional 2 by winning 38-29. With two games to go Sevenoaks are safe. Well done to them. That is a fine achievement.

Yes, yes, it wouldn’t be Monday without me telling you Bridgnorth rounded off their season with a win at Dudley Kingswinford to finish 5th. Salisbury ended their season with a 17–53 loss at Royal Wootton Bassett II. They still finished in a very creditable 5th spot. Thanks Bill for your regular match reports on Salisbury.

Please note whilst I’m confident my statements on promotion and relegation are right, they are taken from London RFU website, they are still to be ratified.

The Ospreys beat Scarlets in a curate’s egg of a game. At times both sides played some amazing rugby, and you wondered why Wales were so bad. To counteract that there were periods when the quality of rugby was no less than awful.

If you haven’t seen it, go on the interweb thingy and find the French paratrooper deciding to land on the stadium roof ahead of the Toulouse v Sale game. He was rescued by a cheery-picker and I guess was suitably red faced.

Sunday 6th April: 09:05

One point was needed, one point was gained. Despite losing 38-22 at promoted Canterbury II we end up in 4th, which in this incredibly competitive league is an excellent achievement. Having been on airport duty yesterday morning, and my painful knee suggesting the long trip to Canterbury was a game to miss, I went to Steel Cross to watch some of the 2nd XV game against Holbrook. More on this in a moment.

Having read The Bard’s report it sounds very much like a game of two halves. The strong wind playing a part, getting on the wrong side of the referee in the second half, and Canterbury’s tactical nous late on, all played a part in the dramatic swing in fortunes. We might also have picked up a couple of injuries along the way. With Eastbourne in the slice of pizza cup next week that is not good news.

The coaching team of Stuart, Stuart and Jodi can rightly be pleased with the 4th place finish, as can the boys who have toiled long and hard from start to finish. Having watched many games